The Author Creates Havoc With Samurai X
by The Original Darkmagic
Summary: Hold it right there! Don't even think of clicking on any other story! Try this one out, just sit back, relax and enjoy this songfiction, terrorising the kenshingumi is so much fun!


The Author Creates Havoc with Samurai X  
  
BY GENIE  
  
Disclaimer: All copyrighted characters, songs and references to them and anything else I forgot belongs to the companies and persons who own them.  
  
Now that is out of the way, let me warn you that if you don't want to see Your favorite character maimed, tortured, severely humiliated, mauled or beaten then do not! I repeat do not read this!!!  
  
Don't say I never warned you guys, now on with the story/song fiction!!!!  
  
"You've been hit by Kaoru!"  
(Parody of Smooth Criminal)  
  
Prologue: (How it all began):  
  
Time: 1800 Hours  
  
(Sound of typewriter in the background)  
  
Location: Non-existent Government facility. The rest is classified!!!  
  
Shot of Office:  
  
"The Boss" at window looking out at scenery,  
  
A man enters the office, "Sir, apparently The Author has escaped!!"  
  
The Boss turns away from the window and walks to the desk to pick up the phone," Send in Agents X and Y."  
  
The Boss sits in his chair and the agents' rushes into the office.  
  
"X and Y please be seated, now I think you know the gravity of the mission I am sending you on! Retrieve The Author by any means necessary, the faith of the world is in your hands."  
  
X and Y looks at the Boss dumbly "You can leave! NOW!!!!"  
  
" Yes sir!" replied Agents X and Y. They rush out of the office leaving behind The Boss with his head in his hands saying "Oh No! God help us all, save us from The Author!!"  
  
Cut! Cut!! Come on man say it with more feeling!! Okay crew retake scene 5!  
  
(Shot of Director and film crew).  
  
They rush out of the office leaving behind The Boss falling to his knees on the office floor manically repeating "Oh Noooooo!! Saveee Usssss!! From The Authorrrrrrrr!!"  
  
Cut! Cut!! Great Scene guys and that is a wrap!! (Scene of director and film crew)  
  
MEANWHILE.  
  
In a sleepy town, at an unsuspecting electronics store a mysteriously cloaked figure enters.  
  
"Can I help you madam?"  
  
The salesgirl receives no reply as the figure walks purposely towards the television sets. Stopping before a large 32 inch T.V. the figure starts chanting incantations known only by fellow animation fanatics.  
  
Oh Nooo!!!  
  
It's the!!  
  
Huh!!  
  
Transference Spell!!  
  
This would allow the chanter to go into their chosen anime and create havoc!!!!  
  
Hahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Anyway the figure is sucked into the television and arrives at Yes!!! Samurai X, The T.V. series.  
  
Right outside the famed Kamiya Dojo!!  
  
The mysterious figure removes the cloak to reveal The Author! About to screw up the lives of the unsuspecting cast of Samurai X!!  
  
Heeheeheeheeheehee!! (Lightning flashes and scary music plays).  
  
The Author walks into the Kamiya Dojo!!  
  
Kenshin is happily washing clothes.  
  
Kaoru is chasing Yahiko around the yard while he screams "Busu!" Sanosuke is chewing on his twig/fishbone (who knows what the hell he is chewing?) is watching the chase with interest.  
  
Kenshin realizing someone is there, looks towards the entrance! "Oro!"  
  
The Author simply says "Sorry to interrupt this episode but a girl got to do what she got to do! Let's party wooooooooooo!"  
  
Everything comes to a standstill even the birds stop chirping. Wow! (Sweat drops seen all around)  
  
"Let the party begin", says The Author with a sly smile.  
  
Music starts!!  
  
Yahiko slides in wearing a white tuxedo, a top hat, matching shoes and shades!  
  
(Singing in a high pitched voice)  
  
"Aaooow!"  
  
"Yahiko, are you ok? Will you tell us you are ok!" sung by four geishas that mysteriously appear and surround Yahiko.  
  
The geishas leave Yahiko and drape themselves over Kenshin who is standing by his washtub!!  
  
Kenshin are you ok? So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin? Kenshin are you ok?  
  
So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin! Kenshin are you ok? So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin! Kenshin are you ok?  
  
(Yahiko slides in singing)  
  
So, Kenshin are you ok, are you ok, Kenshin  
  
(The geishas dance past Kenshin singing)  
  
Are you ok Kenshin?  
  
Kaoru getting over the shock of some mysterious person showing up and doing something other than fighting, notices the geishas.  
  
"Mou! Kenshin who are those girls and what are they doing here?"  
  
Kenshin sweat drops  
  
"I don't know Kaoru-dono, but maybe you should ask her!"  
  
"Okay I will!" Kaoru stalks over to The Author.  
  
"HEY! I don't know who you are but you better leave with those girls!!"  
  
"I don't think so why don't you join in Kaoru"  
  
Kaoru is magically zapped to join the dancing Geishas as they shuffle across the yard dressed in a Revealing Red Dress!!  
  
"Mou!! This can't be happening to me! Kenshin do something!"  
  
"Oroooo!!" murmurs a stunned Kenshin after seeing so much of Kaoru revealed.  
  
Ignoring the entire scene The Author continued "Sorry for that unwanted interruption! On with the show!!"  
  
Sano slides in wearing a Black Tuxedo  
  
(Hahahahmmmm! I am so evil!)  
  
"I look stupid in this outfit"  
  
The geisha squad with Kaoru immediately surrounds Sano exclaiming "Who would have thought he was this good looking not me!" stars and hearts in their eyes.  
  
"Well girls you have seen nothing yet! After all he is going to sing and dance!" said The Author.  
  
Sano starts singing or rapping whatever!!  
  
He prepared her bath as usual He heard no sound from outside  
  
(Ayame & Suzame pops in saying "that's true!")  
  
He thought something was wrong So he broke through the door, She looked at him in shock He looked right back at her And she got really angry  
  
(Kenshin is promptly hit on the head by a Bokken that came out of nowhere, hmmm I wonder who was that! they moved so fast?)  
  
He was struck down,  
  
It was his doom  
  
(Yahiko and the geishas dance around a swirly eyed, nearly unconscious Kenshin who is mumbling "oro,oro,oro!")  
  
Kenshin are you ok? So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin? Kenshin are you ok?  
  
So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin! Kenshin are you ok? So, Kenshin are you ok? Are you ok Kenshin! Kenshin are you ok?  
  
(Sano moonwalks past Kenshin singing)  
  
So, Kenshin are you ok,  
  
(Kaoru and the geishas dance past Sano singing)  
  
Are you ok, Kenshin? Kenshin are you ok?  
  
(Sano pops next to Kenshin)  
  
Will you tell us that you are ok?  
  
("Oro!" says Kenshin with swirling eyes)  
  
There's no sign of you moving  
  
That Busu struck you a crescendo Kenshin Kaoru stops dancing and glares at Sano, Sano sweat drops and slides away from Kaoru  
  
Busu came at you, with such speed and Knocked you to the ground Kenshin You could not fight it You were struck down It was your doom!!  
  
Kaoru walks quietly up behind a clueless Sano, growling "Sanoooo!"  
  
You've been hit by You've been hit by,  
  
"Sano! No Baka!" shouts Kaoru as she repeatedly hit Sano over the head with her bokken  
  
Hiko pops in the yard, singing  
  
Kaoru's bokken!!  
  
"Hey who invited sensei" asks Kenshin with a shocked look on his face  
  
"I did of course Kenshin" replies The Author  
  
"I should have known," replies Kenshin with a death stare, eyes turning slightly amber.  
  
"Oh please do you think that look will work on me! Don't make me use you as an example Kenshin" replies The Author  
  
"Just do as she says!! Bakadeshi!! I don't even know why she would waste her time on you isn't it enough you have a comic book, TV. Series, Ovas, Movies, Websites and other stuff about you!  
  
She could have at least do one on me your great and wise master!!" rants Hiko  
  
" Hmmmm you are right Hiko. So why don't you sing the rest of the song!!!" said The Author.  
  
Oh NO!!!!!!!  
  
Hiko pops in the yard wearing all Black leather!!! And starts singing!!  
  
Sano came as usual to beg for a free meal  
  
(Shot of Sano " What!! Hey the food is free!!")  
  
He sat and waited for the food to be put on the table Then he rushed to eat it He choked on it,  
  
(Shot of Kaoru beating up Sano around the yard)  
  
He was knocked out His mistake, his doom!!  
  
Yahiko and the geishas dance around Sano who is on the ground knocked out by Kaoru!  
  
Sano are you ok? So, Sano are you ok? Are you ok Sano? Sano are you ok?  
  
So, Sano are you ok? Are you ok Sano! Sano are you ok? So, Sano are you ok? Are you ok Sano! Sano are you ok?  
  
(Hiko slides in front of Sano singing)  
  
So, Sano are you ok, are you ok, Sano? Sano are you ok?  
  
(Geishas and Kaoru dance past Hiko)  
  
Will you tell us that you are ok? There's no sign of you moving  
  
(Yahiko pops in singing)  
  
That Busu struck you a crescendo Sano Busu cooked the meal, she can't cook and You choked on it Sano You could not eat it You were struck down It was your doom!!  
  
(Hiko dance with geisha around Sano)  
  
Sano are you ok? So, Sano are you ok? Are you ok Sano? You've been hit by You've been struck by- Kaoru's cooking.  
  
Saitoh pops next to Kenshin with a loud speaker shouting  
  
"Okay, I want everybody to clear the area right now!"  
  
"Oro!! What are you doing here?" asks Kenshin,  
  
"Don't ask stupid questions Battousai! You know who did it"  
  
And they both looked at the Author!  
  
" Yoo-hoo!! Is their a problem gentlemen?" shouts the Author  
  
"No! No problem!" Kenshin quickly replies, a slight tremor of panic in his voice.  
  
Yahiko dances past Saitoh and Kenshin  
  
Aaooow! Kenshin are you ok? I don't know! Will you tell us, that you're ok? I don't know! There's a look of pain on your face I don't know!  
  
That Busu struck you- a crescendo Kenshin  
  
(Kaoru advances with her bokken fuming .her eyes are now a lovely shade of amber?)  
  
I don't know You barged into the bathroom I don't know!  
  
You got Busu angry Kenshin!  
  
(Kaoru chases Yahiko around the dojo, he is barely dodging the blows.)  
  
I don't know why! Busu hit you with her fists I don't know You were struck down It was your doom-Kenshin!  
  
Sano are you ok?  
  
Busu done it-Sano Will you tell, us you are ok?  
  
(Unable to hit Yahiko, Kaoru starts knocking out the geishas one by one with her bokken)  
  
Busu done it-Kenshin You were knocked out! Busu done it!  
  
That Busu struck you - A crescendo Sano  
  
Hoo! Hoo!  
  
Then you tried to run! Busu done it! You were struck down! It was your doom-Kenshin It was your doom- Sano!!  
  
(Kaoru is chasing everyone around the dojo) Aaooow!!!!  
  
Unknown to the Author!! Agents X and Y have located her!!  
  
They enter the dojo "Everyone freeze!" shouts one of the agents  
  
The dojo comes to a standstill.  
  
"Oh great! Just when I am having fun!" shouts The Author  
  
"Well! Are you going to come peacefully Author!"  
  
"Yeah! Yeah! But I will be back!! Hahahahaha!!" rants the Author as she is led away by the Agents  
  
Everyone sweat drops!  
  
"You can go in now and make sure you get everyone this time!" murmurs agent Y as he passes another agent dressed in all black!  
  
The Agent steps into the dojo and says "Hello everyone can you please look this way please!"  
  
The cast of Samurai X memory is wiped by a flash of a light And everything is returned to normal.  
  
The Author is taken to the non-existent government facility Where she can never cause havoc to the cast of Samurai X again!!  
  
"Hey wait!! Didn't you have fun!! I will be back!! The man can't keep me down!!  
  
Is this The End or The Beginning.  
  
We will see!  
  
Okay guys put in your constructive reviews and if you have any special requests like songs or characters you want damaged in the next song fiction do include it in your review!! 


End file.
